Remember Your Individuality

Can you imagine being in a relationship with someone just like you? Can you say boring!? Your individuality is part of what drew the two of you together. Recognize it. Nourish it. Respect it. You can’t have the same thoughts, dreams and feelings all the time. Sure, there are things you have in common but there are also things that your partner loves, despises, is passionate about and considers important. They are the core of who your partner is – the person you love.

Instead of looking at your differences as incompatibility, consider the possibility of how those differences add to your relationship dynamics. If your partner weren’t so passionate about animal rights, you might not own that dog that you absolutely adore.

Learn How to Use the Differences to Your Advantage

There are some differences that you and your partner will have that might not really add to the relationship but can take away – if you let it. If your partner is obsessed with football and you can’t stand it – use that time to do something you love. Make it a day for individual time – which we all need. While your partner watches football, go out with friends for coffee, go shopping or sit in another room and watch sappy movies that you can’t get him to watch with you.

Know When to Let it Go

Bigger, life issues can destroy your relationship completely. Things like children, religious beliefs, career demands, political beliefs and extended family are just a few of the really big issues that can be detrimental to the health of your relationship, if you’re not careful. Learn how to handle these differences early on in your relationship.

There are many ways that healthy couples handle these differences. Some issues, couples are able to let differences be differences and just avoid the topics. Other differences, like children, that can affect your relationship direction, take time to work out. These conflicts must be resolved in one way or another and, when they’re not, they usually result in a breakup.

In these situations, you have to really know how to listen to your partner and understand where they are coming from. Why doesn’t your partner want children? Is it just for now or is it just something they aren’t interested in? Why are children so important to you?

Many couples have overcome hurdles like this without animosity and anger. If you communicate effectively and remember to respect your partner, you can too! If you find that your emotions are starting to take over in a conversation like this, learn how to walk away and come back to the conversation later.

Know When to Ask for Help

There are those conflicts that you just can’t seem to resolve or handle effectively, no matter how hard you try. Know when to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. There is something wrong with letting a conflict destroy your relationship when help is available. Some of the best and happiest couples have unresolved issues and need help sometimes. Saving your relationship is worth the effort.

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What is a Blissful Relationship?

When most couples think of a blissful relationship, they think of the honeymoon phase. You remember it, don’t you? That’s what you keep hoping your relationship will get back to. The countless hours talking and cuddling, the constant feelings of admiration, the daily romps in the haystack, the lack of arguments and going out of each other’s way to make the other happy – that’s how most people perceive a blissful relationship.

It’s really not all your fault. You see happy couples and they are talking and laughing and seem to be so caring towards one another. You see happy couples plastered all over magazines. You hear ‘relationship experts’ talking about how perfect your life with your partner should be.

Then you look at your relationship. The dog chews up your briefcase and your partner is too engrossed in the screaming baby to care as much as you think she should. You lose your job so you and your partner argue about the bills. Dinner’s running late because you got stuck at the office and your partner feels neglected because you’re not spending enough time together. Your car breaks down on the way to work and since your partner forgot to pay the phone bill, you can’t call work. Your partner loses a family member and is unresponsive to efforts to provide support. You don’t agree on how to raise children or if you should even have children. You like this apartment but he thinks it’s too much. Your partner has a bad day and says something out of frustration and you can’t figure out how to forgive and you’re too tired at the end of the day to be supportive…..

So what’s wrong with your relationship? Why do you have so many problems? Why can’t the two of you get back to that loving place you were in the beginning? Why can’t you have that blissful relationship you keep hearing so much about?

Exposing the Lie

The truth is that, if you really look at your relationship – REALLY look at it – you will probably find that you already have a blissful relationship. The problem isn’t your relationship; it is your perspective of your relationship.

Let’s go back to the beginning and look at it from a different perspective. Remember when your partner made you that special dinner? They tried so hard to make your favorite dish but they aren’t exactly the best cook. They wanted to make you happy and, even though the meal was burnt, you laughed about it together. You thanked your partner for trying so hard and even made an attempt to make them feel better by taking them out to their favorite restaurant.

How is that scenario different today? Has your partner tried to do something loving lately but, instead of seeing their efforts, you saw the fault. Let’s turn the above example around for today. Your partner wants to surprise you and makes your favorite meal but they really can’t cook very well. They burn it. You get frustrated about it because you’re tired and hungry. You argue. You failed to see their loving efforts.

You’re Not Alone

Everyone does it sometimes. We forget that effort is everything. We forget that love goes into the little mistakes in life. We forget that our partner is human. Most of all, we forget that our partner is different than we are – their strengths are different from our own; so are their weaknesses.

Some couples, may forget this momentarily, others fail to see it at all. They forget that there are so many wonderful traits about their partner they love. They forget to nourish the effort instead of scrutinizing the end result.

If you really want to save your relationship, then start seeing the effort. Maybe your partner forgot to pay the phone bill – but what did that money go for? Maybe they bought your birthday gift and forgot about the bill. What were they doing at the time the phone bill was due? Maybe they had spent all day at the doctor’s office. Are they overworked and overstressed like you are?  Maybe there is a way that you can sit down together and manage the bills.

Yes, a healthy relationship does take work. You and your partner may need new tools and techniques for learning how to be mindful of each other’s feelings, be supportive of each other and communicating with each other. But once you discover the truth – that you already have a blissful relationship and that you have exactly the relationship you were meant to have – you realize that the effort needed to maintain a healthy relationship is worth it.

There is no such thing as a relationship without problems. Even in a life as a single person, you are going to have problems. If you are like most couples, your relationship is already blissful – you just have to put life’s problems and your relationship problems into perspective.  

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1. You call, text or email them constantly.
2. You call their friends and family members to find out the truth or see how they’re doing.
3. You ‘accidentally’ bump into them.
4. You engage in self-destructive behaviors (binge eating or drinking, not eating or sleeping).
5. You spend your days in sweat pants, eating Ben and Jerry’s, watching Sleepless in Seattle.
6. You call them names or say hurtful things.
7. You try to make your ex feel guilty for abandoning you.
8. You try to get revenge on your ex.
9. You apologize constantly – even if you weren’t at fault.
10. You profess your undying love to them.
11. You send them flowers, candy or other gifts.
12. You follow them around.

Your actions are out of anger, hurt and abandonment. This is completely normal after a breakup! Sadly, however, these actions will only make the breakup more concrete in the mind of your ex. As you claw desperately to regain their love and affection, you are actually shoving them further and further away. Before too long, you will push the relationship to the point of no return.

What Can You Do?

The most important thing to do at this point is to stop making the above mistakes. By stopping now, even if you have made many, or most, or even all of the above mistakes, you increase the chances of successfully getting your ex back.

Of course, getting an ex back requires a little more skill, knowledge and work than just refraining from poor behavior habits. You also have to know what things you SHOULD do to make your ex want you again. And yes, it is possible. We have seen it work with some of the ‘get an ex back’ programs we have reviewed.

Which One Should You Try?

To be honest, we can’t really recommend one over the other. Each has its list of positives and negatives. While one might be better for marriage, another would be better for dating couples. Additionally, one method might work for you better than the other. What we highly suggest is that you take the time to look over the reviews posted here on Mr. Marriage Saver and decide from there.

We have done most of the hard work for you. We searched out the best of the best get your ex back programs. Now all you have to do is find one that fits your needs and your relationship, buy it and get started!

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In most relationships, each partner wants to offer support to the other. They often have the very best of intentions and give the type of support they would hope for in the same situation. Unfortunately, because everyone is different, each person requires a different type of support. The type of support you or your partner needs may vary, depending on personality types and can even change from one situation to the next.

Understanding the Barriers to Feeling Support

It’s when you need support the most that you are most likely to be snippy, stressed, short-tempered or edgy. This can hinder you from being able to accept support from your partner – even if they are trying their best to give support. This is especially true if your partner offers the wrong type of support because they don’t understand the type of support you need.

When you feel unsupported, you may feel that your partner doesn’t care about your needs. You may feel they are insensitive to your needs. You may even feel like you can’t rely on or trust them. Because you feel that you can’t rely on your partner, you are less likely to ask for support the next time you need it. Without a sense of support from your partner, much like a building without proper support, your relationship will crumble to the ground.

Feeling unsupported in your relationship can also cause a sense of hurt and anger. This can cause tension or arguments between you and your partner. Your partner may become frustrated because they are trying their hardest to be supportive but can’t effectively meet your needs. Your hurt and anger may cause you to lash out at your partner. This creates an argument and destroys your relationship connection.

Learning How to Recognize Your Partner’s Efforts and Communicate Your Needs

Most people in a relationship want to offer support to their partner. To see and understand that support, however, you need to learn how to recognize your partner’s support efforts, even when they aren’t offering the type of support you need. When they offer advice but you just need them to listen, acknowledge that you realize they are trying to help but explain the type of support you need.

Let’s put this into real-life context. Say, for example, that your sister just lost her job and she is really upset. You are worried about how she will take care of her children until she can find a new job. You tell your partner about the job loss and that you are upset. Your partner offers up a suggestion that your sister try applying at the local gas station because an opening was just listed in the paper.

You have two choices in this situation.

You can respond through your hurt and anger:

“Now why would you say that? You know that gas station has been robbed three times in the last six months! I didn’t ask you for advice! Why won’t you ever just be there for me? You’re always so insensitive. I can’t talk to you about anything!”

Or, you can respond:

“I realize that you’re just trying to help but, right now, I really just need you to listen. Can you just listen to me for a while?”

In most cases, if you respond with the latter, your partner will comply and offer the type of support you need. This will help you feel more supported, encouraging you to reach out to your partner in the future when you need support. It can also help your partner feel capable of offering the type of support you need, strengthening their desire to be supportive.

The Power of Support

We’ve all had that one person that we knew, when worse came to worse, they would be there – no matter what the situation or time of day. Didn’t that make you feel stronger somehow? It’s like that in all relationships.

When you and your partner are able to effectively support each other, each of you feel like you can trust the other to be there when you’re hurting. This sense of support empowers you. It gives you a sense of security. Most of all, feeling support and feeling able to effectively give support helps you and your partner feel more connected and loved, giving your relationship the strength and endurance it needs to withstand the test of time.

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Repairing a relationship can also be tough on your budget. Couples therapy and couples coaching can cost hundreds of dollars. Relationship help books can be more cost effective at repairing a relationship but some relationships need more.

So why repair your relationship? According to one study, it can actually help you live longer.

Published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, the study found that divorced individuals are 27 percent more likely to die than married people. In fact, according to the study, married people fare in life expectancy when compared to individuals that are widowed or have never been married. The results? You guessed it! Married people, overall, have a longer life expectancy than all of them.

Another study evaluated the amount of time that married people can expect to live than their single friends. Researchers found that single men could live anywhere from 8 to 17 years longer than their single friends. Women were expected to live anywhere from 7 to 15 years longer than their single counterparts.

But why? There weren’t any concrete reasons given but there were a lot of common sense speculations. For one, married couples are often offered better benefits and have a higher income level. In a married relationship, couples are also likely to encourage each other to eat better, exercise and go to the doctor. Also, married people tend to take fewer life-threatening risks than single people.

So, this is all great news for married couples, right? Yes and no. It is good because it does indicate that there is value in marriage. Yet, there aren’t any studies on how an unhappy marriage can affect health and life expectancy to compare the results. If there were, we are certain that life expectancy and health would suffer from unhappy marriage situations.

Stress, depression and anger are all bad for your health. They are all felt in an unhappy marriage, but it doesn’t have to be that way. So many couples, when they start experiencing struggles or lose the connection, simply throw their hands up in the air. Others claw at their partner in an attemp to reconnect, only to drive them further away. There are better ways to handle a withering relationship. Some of them, we discuss here on Mr. Marriage Saver.

There are so many benefits that you can receive from a happy, healthy, loving and trusting relationship. Acceptance, love and companionship are just a few – living longer to enjoy those wonderful benefits is just the icing on the cake!

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REFERENCE

REFERENCE

Gone are the angry feelings when you both said things you didn’t mean. You’re wondering if there’s a chance for the two of you to put the past behind you and start again. You still have a special place in your heart for them.

Such feelings and thoughts are common for those who want to re-establish their relationship. So, instead of wallowing in sadness, longing for your ex, see if they have  similar thoughts about getting back together with you.

Here are 10 signs your ex wants you back.

1. Your ex sends you a handwritten note expressing responsibility for their words and actions that contributed to the break-up.

2. Your ex is willing to talk  and communicate about things in an effort to work out the problems that affect your relationship,

3. They desire to romance you again, like when you first met.

4. They lavish you with compliments on how good you look.

5. They are willing to receive outside help from a professional to get your relationship back on track.

6. You are informed by them that the prospects for their future is bright, due to a career change and a better job.

7. Your ex is more attentive to you, offering to run errands, asking you if there is anything that you need.

8. They makes extra effort to be attractive in manner and appearance, interjecting lighthearted humor, dressing and smelling nicely.

9. You are invited to events by your ex, that interest you both, creating something the two of you can share later.

10. Your ex is still unattached! And they try to be around you a lot.

There are certainly more signs that can reveal to you how your ex feels about you. And that they want you back.

The following tips can be used as a guide to help you prevent problems in your marriage and relationship.

1. Communicate!

It’s important to discuss and work out issues that can affect your marriage: Religion, cultural, social, and economic differences are a major barrier to the harmony in a marriage. Unless you are willing to abandon, transform, or compromise your religious, cultural, social, and economic beliefs, becoming involve with someone who’s the polar opposites of you, may result in insurmountable differences between the two of you.  If the two of you are not compatible in these important areas, there will be serious issues to overcome.  Why take this risk! If you want a lasting and satisfying relationship, make sure the two of you are  attuned with each other beyond the initial attraction.

2. Don’t take each other for granted:

When a relationship is new there’s an effort to please the object of your affection to win their love. You call in the middle of the day just to say hello. Laughing and talking about things  used to bring the two of you enjoyment. Now you don’t talk and laugh like you used to.  If you want your relationship to stay solid,  do something spontaneous to break the monotony.  Stir feelings of love again, like when you first fell in love.

3. Intimacy is Important.  It’s vital to your relationship.

Keep the passions burning by sparking some excitement in your marriage. Discuss with your partner things the two of you can do together to add variety and interest, that can build a deeper level of intimacy. Studies have shown that married people have a more robust sexual life than single people.

4. Make time for each other:

Nothing is more important to a relationship then maintaining closeness. You hear about it everyday, couples growing and drifting apart. To keep this from happening, you must stay integrally and vitally connected to each other.  Children and career are the two biggest factors that come between couples. Take time to be together everyday away from family troubles and job problems, where you can talk and nurture a lasting closeness.

5. Give each other space!:

Clinging to your partner may make him or her feel smothered and stifled. Resentment may build up toward you. It may also make him or her feel you do not trust them.  As an individual your partner has their own needs. Discuss things in an open and honest way. Try to to reach an understanding where the two of  you agree to give each other some time to be apart.

To convince a spouse to save the marriage:

Accept responsibility: None of us are perfect! As the old adage says, “To err is to be human.” Acknowledging and accepting responsibility for the mistakes you made in your marriage can help resolve conflicts and hurt feelings. It shows your spouse that you realize that you contribute to the problems in your marriage.

Talk and Listen: Let your wife or husband know how you feel by talking things out. Use “I” statements. Don’t say, “You hurt me.” Instead say, I felt hurt.” Try to avoid saying “You” in an accusing way. Take the time to listen to your spouse. Let them tell you their concerns and how they feel. Be willing to listen to a different perspective about your marriage. Talking and listening to each other can create an atmosphere for the two of you to work things out so that you can save your marriage.

Seek Advice/Counseling: If you are a person of faith, you can seek the advice of your pastor. Ask that prayer be offered for the reconciliation between you and your spouse. If you prefer a secular approach to solving your marriage problem, you can seek out the advice of a professional that specialize in marriage and family counseling. Approach the subject of counseling with sensitivity. Understand that your husband may unwilling to even consider counseling. He may feel pressured by you and think you are blaming the problems in your marriage on him. Don’t stoop to any form of manipulation by pleading with him. Don’t threaten to harm yourself, if he refuse to agree to attend counseling with you.

Look After Yourself: Get the proper amount of rest to look and feel your best. Even though you are going through a difficult period in your marriage, don’t neglect to take good care of your health. Make sure you perform your everyday responsibilities. If it necessary, get someone to help you with the issues you may be struggling to overcome.

Give it Time: Even though your efforts are not showing a positive result at first in convincing your spouse to save the marriage, don’t loose hope. They just may need time to realize your commitment to the marriage and that it is worth saving. If the end result is that your spouse decides to continue the marriage, having had the patience to see things through, will make the wait worthwhile.

It is imperative you recognize the signs that your marriage is in trouble, to make it easier to resolve any issue. Even small problems can become irreconcilable, if they are not dealt with and worked out satisfactory for both of you. Ignoring trouble between the two of you, thinking it will be forgotten in time, is a recipe for divorce. Deciding to get a divorce can have a far reaching and lingering affect on everyone, especially if it’s a bitter one. And where children are involve, if the breakup is not handled amicably, it can be devastating.

Watch for these 7 signs of marriage trouble and resolve to take action:

1. You no longer have fun with each other. No matter what you do you wish you would have stayed at home and both of you are miserable.

2. Compliments are rare or non existent. Neither of you say anything nice about the other.  Criticisms are on the increase.  It seems like you can’t do anything right. So you no longer make an effort to even try to please your partner.

3. You more content and happier to be alone. The only time you can relax and be yourself is when your wife or husband is not at home.

4. One of you is a neat freak and considers the other one a slob. One of you is always picking up after the other. And there is constant nagging about this issue to the point of aggravation to the other.

5. You try to save, while your wife or husband spends money recklessly. This can be a major problem if bills go unpaid. It can also be  a source of constant arguments.

6. There’s a lack of sexual desire and intimacy between the two of you. This could indicate that one or both of you are going outside of the marriage and being involved with other people.

7.There’s no agreement or planning about things to look forward to. You no longer can agree on future goals and refuse to discuss anything beyond what’s currently going on in your lives.

If ignored marriage problems can cause depression and anger, which can affect the entire family. If you desire to save your marriage help is available. Our website www.mrmarriagesaver.com lists resources with valuable information to help you. There are also books and online help 24 hours a day through our website.

1. Spontaneity: One main complain that couples have about their relationship, is that they are taken for granted by the other partner. Change this perception by doing something out of the ordinary that’s fun and exciting.  Arrange an evening together without any distractions, where the two of you can bask in the glow of each other. If possible, come home before your schedule time, and follow it with an unplanned activity you both can enjoy.

2. Plan a special day:Spend the whole day together. Surprise your partner by giving him or her special attention. Arrange a day together where the two of you can bask in the glow of each other. It will make your partner feel so very special to you.

Remember Important Things: Celebrate those events that mean something to the both of you, such as, when you first said I love you, the time you propose, your anniversary, etc,. You can send flowers to mark the occasion. Dedicate a special song to your partner. Send an e-card or text message with an expression of love to let your partner know that you are thinking about him or her.

4. Keep it Simple:You don’t have to make a fuss if it’s not your style. There are things which you and your partner can do together that doesn’t require you spending any money or going out somewhere. You could play card games, watch movies or T.V., read a mystery or romance novel together. You can stroll along the beach or in the park.  It doesn’t matter what the two of you do.  Spending time together in a fun loving way will add excitement to your relationship.

5. Explore trying something new: Fulfilling your partner fantasy provides imaginative ways of satisfying each other. Partners who have been married a long time may be bored, and feel a  need to change the routine that the two of you have grown accustomed to. Since this is a sensitive area, make sure you consider your partner’s beliefs and feelings before you explore and introduce something new in physical intimacy with each other.

6. Stay connected!: It should be understood that the attention which was once exclusively only your partner’s, now has to be shared between your children and other things important to you.  But this can create distance between the two of you, causing you to drift apart. To avoid this problem, make sure time is set aside in the day, so the two of you can stay connected. Couples need time to reconnect and talk to each other. Don’t let anyone or anything come between the two of you.

7. Away time: If possible take a short vacation with just each other. If you’re not able to get some down time together, then as a substitute, schedule a massage for the two of you at a local spa where you live. Even a few hours at a spa can transform the two of you with a pleasurable relaxing experience. Just getting away, however briefly, will keep the excitement alive in your relationship.